Funny Things Kids Say in Counseling

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I’m sure we can all relate to wanting to burst into laughter while trying to hold it in.

As a school counselor, I get a glimpse into how kids see the world through their eyes. I wanted to take a moment to look at the lighter side of school counseling, and some of the funny things that have been said over the years.

I have to admit, with some of these, you just had to be there.


 

(During an elementary classroom introduction at the beginning of the school year.)

Counselor – “Does anyone know what a school counselor does?”

Student – “They cancel school!”

I thought about this for a moment and where he could have come up with this.

Counselor – “Oh!  You must of heard school canceler,  It’s school counselor!

As the class bursts into laughter, I thought about what it would be like to be a School Canceler…like I go around cancelling school.  “Alright everybody, schools cancelled! Whoo-hoo!”


 

6th grader – “My dad doesn’t work.”

Counselor – “Ah, so your dad’s not working right now.”

The student responds with the most sincerity.

6th grader – “No, my dads a Stay-at-Home Mom.”

Laughing on the inside while moving on.


 

2nd grader – “People don’t really know what I am.”

I noticed he had said this like a wise old man, beyond his years.  Meanwhile, I’m wondering why he didn’t say who I am.  He said what I am.

Counselor –  “Oh, well…what are you?”

Student saying this again slowly, wise beyond his years. 

2nd grader – “I’m just a guy in a blue jacket.”

Laughing on the inside.  I’m not sure if he meant to be that profound in his statement. And yes, he was wearing a blue jacket. 


 

Counselor – “So, are you excited for Christmas?”

1st grader – “Yeah.”

Counselor – “What do you want for Christmas?”

1st grader – “My two front teeth.”

Meanwhile, I noticed that he really didn’t have his two front teeth, as I smiled and nodded. 


 

(During a classroom presentation — listening to music examples and how it makes them feel. )

Counselor – “So, any thoughts, reactions…how did this make you feel?

Student – “It made me feel fat.”

Sometimes I’m caught off guard by what is said.

Counselor – “You felt fat?  Well, that’s the first time I’ve heard that reaction.”

As I quickly move on to another student…


 

1st grader – “Sometimes I get scared of things, like when I see spiders.  But my mom…she…

Student pauses for a moment. 

Counselor – “She protects you.”

Student looks at my in shock and disbelief.  

1st grader – “No!  She’ll run away!  Then I’ll just go running too!”


 

4th grader – “I feel like I don’t have a place in my house.  I can’t go anywhere in my  house.  I can’t go in my room, because my sister tells me to get out.  I can’t go in the living room, because my mom tells me to be quiet.

Counselor – “Well, maybe you can at least go outside and have some space.”

Student says next response while laughing.

4th grader – “I can’t even go outside, because my dog will start to bite me!”


 

3rd grader – “One thing I remember, was one night my face fell down and I hit my face off the bed.  Then I woke up and it was already morning.  That was the most mysterious memory I’ve ever had.”

I was thinking, alright, did you fall off the bed and knock yourself out?

Counselor – “You fell off the bed?”

3rd grader – “No, my face fell and hit the blankets.”

I didn’t quite know what to make of what the student was saying, so I said the only logical thing I could have at this point.

Counselor – “Your face fell off.”

The moment those words were released from my mouth and I heard myself say them, they were immediately accompanied by laughter from myself and the student — realizing how absurd it sounded.  The student corrected me.  

3rd grader – “No, my face fell and hit the blankets.”


 

What are some funny things you’ve heard? 🙂

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