FUNNY THINGS KIDS SAY IN COUNSELING
I’m sure we can all relate to wanting to burst into laughter while trying to hold it in.
As a school counselor, I get a glimpse into how kids see the world through their eyes. I wanted to take a moment to look at the lighter side of school counseling, and some of the funny things that have been said over the years.
I have to admit, with some of these, you just had to be there.
(During an elementary classroom introduction at the beginning of the school year.)
Counselor – “Does anyone know what a school counselor does?”
Student – “They cancel school!”
I thought about this for a moment and where he could have come up with this.
Counselor – “Oh! You must of heard school canceler, It’s school counselor!”
As the class bursts into laughter, I thought about what it would be like to be a School Canceler…like I go around canceling school. “Alright everybody, schools canceled! Whoo-hoo!”
6th grader – “My dad doesn’t work.”
Counselor – “Ah, so your dad’s not working right now.”
The student responds with the most sincerity.
6th grader – “No, my dads a Stay-at-Home Mom.”
Laughing on the inside while moving on.
2nd grader – “People don’t really know what I am.”
I noticed he had said this like a wise old man, beyond his years. Meanwhile, I’m wondering why he didn’t say who I am. He said what I am.
Counselor – “Oh, well…what are you?”
Student saying this again slowly, wise beyond his years.
2nd grader – “I’m just a guy in a blue jacket.”
Laughing on the inside. I’m not sure if he meant to be that profound in his statement. And yes, he was wearing a blue jacket.
Counselor – “So, are you excited for Christmas?”
1st grader – “Yeah.”
Counselor – “What do you want for Christmas?”
1st grader – “My two front teeth.”
Meanwhile, I noticed that he really didn’t have his two front teeth, as I smiled and nodded.
(During a classroom presentation — listening to music examples and how it makes them feel. )
Counselor – “So, any thoughts, reactions…how did this make you feel?
Student – “It made me feel fat.”
Sometimes I’m caught off guard by what is said.
Counselor – “You felt fat? Well, that’s the first time I’ve heard that reaction.”
As I quickly move on to another student…
1st grader – “Sometimes I get scared of things, like when I see spiders. But my mom…she…
Student pauses for a moment.
Counselor – “She protects you.”
Student looks at my in shock and disbelief.
1st grader – “No! She’ll run away! Then I’ll just go running too!”
4th grader – “I feel like I don’t have a place in my house. I can’t go anywhere in my house. I can’t go in my room, because my sister tells me to get out. I can’t go in the living room, because my mom tells me to be quiet.
Counselor – “Well, maybe you can at least go outside and have some space.”
Student says next response while laughing.
4th grader – “I can’t even go outside, because my dog will start to bite me!”
3rd grader – “One thing I remember, was one night my face fell down and I hit my face off the bed. Then I woke up and it was already morning. That was the most mysterious memory I’ve ever had.”
I was thinking, alright, did you fall off the bed and knock yourself out?
Counselor – “You fell off the bed?”
3rd grader – “No, my face fell and hit the blankets.”
I didn’t quite know what to make of what the student was saying, so I said the only logical thing I could have at this point.
Counselor – “Your face fell off.”
The moment those words were released from my mouth and I heard myself say them, they were immediately accompanied by laughter from myself and the student — realizing how absurd it sounded. The student corrected me.
3rd grader – “No, my face fell and hit the blankets.”
What are some funny things you’ve heard? 🙂
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